800-lb. Man Loses Date

A Monterey-area man who once weighed a half-ton was going to meet his girlfriend to celebrate his having lost 400 pounds, but the date was cut short.

After the forklift had carried Manuel Uribe to a flatbed tow-truck while dozens of photographers from around the world looked on, he was on his way to a party with his girlfriend when one of the posts holding a tarp over him hit an overpass. His blood pressure dropped so dramatically that doctors suggested he not continue on.

Last year, friends pushed Uribe's iron bed out of the house as a mariachi band marched along the street. It was his first time outside of his house in five years. He was on his way to take his girlfriend out to eat for her birthday. True story. He hopes to try the date again this June, when he will be 43.

The oddest thing about this story is that an 800-lb. man has a girlfriend and I do not.

Take heart, Uribe - it's not like I can make fun of you!

© C Harris Lynn, 2008