Tuesday, April 1, 2008

One Gen-Xer Down, Too Many More to Go

I am no fan of my generation. Let's see what we've given the world so far: Techno music, Starbuck's, GHB and XTC (not to mention meth), the seemingly everlasting concept that everyone's a winner even when they're a complete fucking loser... which brings us to the 36-year old Kentucky man who thought it was a good idea to keep dangerous, poisonous lizards as pets.

This genius was harboring seven rattlesnakes, a gaboon viper, a king cobra, an iguana, two monitor lizards, two alligators, a boa constrictor, and a python. Keeping "undomesticated" (in quotes because such creatures cannot be domesticated) lizards, snakes, and amphibians as "pets" became all the rage in the 1990s - the practice being taken up largely by morons who liked to drop XTC in their GHB-laden drinks, do a little meth, and "rave 'til dawn" to Techno music.

This particular moron was charged with 10 counts of possessing dangerous animals, as well as 15 counts of transporting wildlife into the state. The creatures were seized, but Dr. Rave-a-Tron wasn't there to see it; he was having his fingers amputated, following a snakebite.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008

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