Fatty, Fatty 2x4, Eating's Gonna Start a War!

Fatassed obese folk are being blamed for the world's food shortage, as well as climate change.

Fatty fat-fats consume up to 20% more food and fuel, due to their being so fat. Thus, they can be blamed for environmental problems and the lack of food for the poor and starving.

But the solution is not to starve them (I know, that's a no-brainer, right?); actually, less dependency on cars would solve everything. If more fatties were forced to walk or bike to and from the fast-food joints they haunt, not only would it lessen environmental damage, it would use less fuel. Using less fuel would lessen the price of both gasoline and food, since higher fuel prices are passed on to food costs. Finally, the exercise would help the obese lose weight, thereby increasing their metabolism, resulting in their eating less!

Others called the study "discriminatory" and said the fatties shouldn't be blamed for the world's ills, just poor hygiene, bad health management, total lack of self-control, and a refusal to accept personal responsibility.

And torture to cute and fuzzy animals, like bunnies and baby seals.

© C Harris Lynn, 2008