SWINE FLU PANDEMIC REACHES MASS PROPORTIONS

As news-hungry media inflate a simple flu outbreak into the world-scouring Superflu of a Stephen King novel. No fewer than four major stories on the BBC's newsfeed, Good Morning America Weekend had an interview with a family who was not only "quarantined" but wore masks to protect the GMA crew, New Zealand's in the picture now, and Chinese doctors are working to develop a test which will return results in several hours (as opposed to weeks)...

From what I learned on GMA Weekend, the Swine Flu is an amalgam of influenza affecting some 3-4 various animals, including pigs. As the anchor tried to inject an overly serious tone to everything said, the teenager who had been reported "infected" chortled as he shrugged and responded, "No one else at [my] highschool had it," when asked, "Any idea how you might have contracted it? Did you go to Mexico?" The kid laughed yet again, "No."

In fact, when the anchor got right down to it, the boy said he felt generally rundown and, you know, basically flu-ey. He said it was "basically like any other flu." His mom rebuked the melodramatic telejournalist with much the same answers.

Just so you know, this family was from Texas, which closely borders Mexico and is one of the states most known for illegal immigrants. While GMA is too politically-correct to mention it, it's safe to assume the boy's highschool contains a healthy Mexican population. Further, America ranks 37 in world healthcare - not really a top-ranking - but Mexico? 61.

So, um, I'm kinda surprised more Mexicans don't die of the fucking common flu.

© C Harris Lynn, 2009